Thursday, October 23, 2008

Taking a break from Politics...

they all go and relax at the local strip club. (click image for larger view)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Blur

I walked on the beach held hand in hand. Never knowing how this would end. Seen the lights of the far away capital playing sliently on the waves. You can see people around a blur. and it was only you.. Roads, traffic, people, walls were gone.. All that was left was ... You.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

An iPhone Story

Ever since apple decided to leak information about there secret phone project I had been patiently waiting curiously. Then they released concepts for their new phone, then came the name and official design of the phone. My devotion to the iphone was like a little kid at a candy store.. waiting for it to come out. When they released the trailers of all the things you could do with an iphone, I downloaded every bit of iphone commercials and watched all the spoof parodies of iphone on the internet. Since I wasnt working back then I relied on my parents (especially my dad) to bless me with with the moola to acquire this god like technology. From there, operation "Scam dad in to buying me the iphone" began...

Scene1, Act1
me: (taping away on keyboard as loud as possible with one of the iphone commercials on full volume)
dad: son what is all this ruckus??
me: oh dad i didnt see you there.. im looking through this awesome phone called the iphone. look at all the neat stuff it can do..
dad: hmm that looks like a good phone.
me: this is like totally something I would want for my birthday. (hint administered)
dad: why dont you study and get good results first on your degree. stop dreaming of the impossible!!
(mission to get dad to notice that I want the iphone was a success)
End Scene1, Act1

After the iphone was released and some of dads friends already bought it and had been rubbing it in everyones faces abt how cool it was to own an iphone I realised now was the time to once again start my mission.

Scene2, Act1
me: hey dad look at the new features of iphone they announced (shows new commercial on youtube)
dad: hey thats some pretty nice feature, looks real good.
me: yeah Im thinking of buying one.. dad I was wonderinf if..
dad: ..buy you an iphone? pffft preposterous!! dont make me laugh.. hehehe.. see what you did, you made me laugh now!! (angry tone) why dont you get a job and save for the future and stop trying to buy this worldly goods which you will discard in a few days!!
(mission to get any moola off my dad to buy an iphone down the drain)
End Scene2, Act1

2 weeks later

Scene2, Act2
dad: hey son have you seen my brand new iphone?

THE END
based on a true story.....

SEQUEL (trailer with epic soundtrack)
I fell in love with Samsung Omnia, decided to keep this a secret from dad since he may ruin this for me. He had been complaining lately about his iphone over heating and making noises (yay!)
One day I was doing some shopping for mum and she had dads phone with her since it had a shopping list dad made.

mum: search for the shopping list on dads iphone will you son??
me: (searching and flipping pages and accidentially stumble on to something familliar.)

It was another shopping list, not the one mum wanted. And there it was inscribed in small little tiny iphone letters.. "Buy Samsung Omnia to replace iphone"................

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Confusion

My confusion is not your fault. My confusion is what makes me, but in a way what breaks me. My confusion makes me unhealthy and needy. Different people confuse me in different ways. Friendship, family, love, desire. I worship them all.
So please dont hate me for being confused. My confusion is a battle for my own...

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Incomplete Heading

Haveeru daily recently published an article about some students of Jamaaluddhin School going to China. The article was in dhivehi and the heading was an abrupt statement. "Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah." To me this felt like an abrupt halt. I see a heading which sounds like it was missing half of the ending words. So since I wish to have a compulsive disorder I decided to write possible endings to this abruptly ended heading.

  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah vettijje'.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah aruvaalaifi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah verijje'.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah bogeh jahaifi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah vaige hamalaathakeh dheefi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah masthuvaathakethi etherekuran ulhenikoh hifahattaifi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah gellijje'
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah landeh dheefi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah makaru hadhai filaifi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah 100 gas hadhiyaa koffi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah dharaniveri vejje.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah nahalaalah banduboduvejje'.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah boandheefi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah vaifodi thalhaafa filaifi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah ingili aruvan dhaskoh dheefi.
  • Jamaaluddhin Schoolge' dharivarunthakeh China'ah hedhumeh gaindheefi.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This Opinion of Mine

There is too much fucked up shit on the street today. The hierarchy of turds looming around starts from politicians to beggars.
--------
The dealers, the users, the pervs, the sleaze, the gays, the homophobes, the thieves, the burglars, the gangs, the activists, the religious ,the fanatics, the humble and the hooligans.
[Now imagine that all the streets of male' are sewage pipes and the described people are tiny turds with faces]
--------
The maumoon campaign logo [his infamous palm] on head bands.. it looks like its trying to say five times the looser..
--------
I have yet to see a DRP fanatic running outside a MDP demonstration yelling "Anni faibaa!!!"
--------
Moonu buruga is a safety hazard to the user and others. Its a boundary saying "I don't trust you", yet we are obligated to trust them.
--------
People who can only grow loali shouldn't grow beards. If the sawab offered is measured with the length of a beard, it is not a true belief.
--------
There are no current presidential candidate that I am happy with to run this country. To me each and every candidate is incompetent. Mr.Golhaa might as well stay on throne till he dies.
--------
Maldivian movie industry is a joke. People in this industry may argue but nothing you say will make it less true.
--------
Dhiraagu is loosing creativity on their advertisements. Most boring ad in the world would have to be the Dhiraagu color sms advert. The latest was a rippoff of superman.. they say it was outsourced.
--------
I went to Star cinema the other day. Total sleazfest. The place looked like an triple x rated theater under a brothel. and the guy who went to see the movie were over 35 and some guys old enough to be my grandpa with huge beards. They only show unrated english movies and pretty sure non of them know good English. I just had to get out of there. Who knows what kind of pervs lurk within. *shudder*
--------
Is it really ok to dress infants in such slutty clothes??? Seriously!! You see these little kids running around in parks dressed in things no respectable woman would wear. Think about the pedophiles!!!
--------
Comebacks for a gang related fight.
"Kaley fuppaneetha?"
"Aan mi fuppanee.. dhen kataru alhanveenun!!"
"Kaley bunaa hurihaa kamah kuran jeheytha?" (guy throws away kataru)
--------
The other night "Theyrava" was playing at artificial. You know a show is lame when the crowd was only 12 people and the rest were playing soccer with a plastic bottle.
--------
Some girls actually think owning an iphone and riding a GN is what makes a man. Its true! I personally know some of these girls.
--------
Girls are not objects, yet they want to be treated that way (even if they don't know it)
--------
Everyone's a hypocrite....

Monday, August 11, 2008

PS3 coming soon

i bought a ps3.. waiting to be delivered.. woohooo!!! excitement!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Conflict of Interest

Tell me a feeling,
I want to know who you are.
Tell me why you are kneeling,
So I would kneel without fear.

Help is so far away,
How I want to hold your hand.
The pain makes me sway,
Like a rocker to his favorite band.

This conflict is mine to keep,
Locked in my heart with a crest.
In your hands I want to weep
With a conflict of interest.

Based on True Story

Friday, July 11, 2008

Randomism

Bucket loved the fish so water became plentiful. The fish asked for water and it was given a bucketful, when the bucket ran out of water fish asked for more and was given more. In return the fish gave beautiful pearls filled with adventourous stories of mighty fishermen which the fish battled against. Fish wasn't greedy it needed its daily fix. Yet the addiction grew more and more and the bucket provided. Then the bucket became bored of the fish and decided to give water as it pleased. Fish didn't complain. But it was saddened by the less continual water it was given. fished loved the bucket...

*crumples the paper and throws it to the floor*

Friday, July 04, 2008

Moble & Niuciular

I was watching the demonstration of iphone 3g on apple website, and the guy kept saying "moble" phone. It reminded me of the incident where Bush jr. kept saying "niuciular" warheads over and over again. Since when did America think it was ok to change pronounciations to "mobile" and "nuclear"??

your moble phone is powered by my niuciular power cell..

pish posh chap! you are ruining english with your retarded education values!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Needs

working the kinks to better adapt this template to my needs.. my very special needs 00.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Twitter Update

i just realized... if you turn on device updates on twitter, you are actually stalking someone.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Dont Watch Teeth!!

Dont watch it!! for the love of a chicken with possibilities of laying a valuable colorised egg of gold!!
DONT WATCH the TEETH !!!!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teeth_(film)
http://www.teethmovie.com/

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Memoirs of a Doormat

Dad: hey doormat come home from office right now. Its late!
Doormat: But dad I cant just leave all these important work which is due this week.
Dad: HAH! silly mat you talk like you have a choice.

Boss: Why aren't all these important work you have to complete not finished on time!
Doormat: Sir I have to go home also, cant stay all night doing this work.
Boss: Your lack of patriotism for this firm disgusts me. You are on the black list including all the other employees whom I hate.

Girlfriend: DOORMAT!! Why have you been not calling me. You are supposed to call me everyday all the time.
Doormat: But love!! I cant call you these days because Im kinda broke and busy at office. Please understand dhooni...
Girlfriend: I hate you Doormat. If you love me you would always call me and send me chocolates even if you are broke.

HotGIRL@office: Hey Doormat.. would you mind doing my office work? I would flirt with you and give you a false pretense so you'll think ud have a chance of sleeping with me??
Doormat: I.. gleep.. hmm errr... flush
HotGIRL@office: Thanks Doormat! *squeezes breasts and sealing the deal* You are a life saver.

FakeFriend: Hey Partey!! hingaa saidheyn!!
Doormat: Dude Im kinda saving..
FakeFriend: Hey Partey hama aharunveema mihaaru sayeh ves nudhey.. kada golayeh.

Then Doormat found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him and got himself fired from office for sexual assault on the HotGirl@office which happened to be the mistress of Doormats Boss. While his Dad disowned Doormat for the huge embarrassment he caused. Now Doormat resides in jail for use of illegal drugs with his FakeFirend.

The End.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

My Boring Life

What have I been up to since my last post?
I swear to god it talked...

OK no jokes. I took this picture from the menu of Lemon grass Restaurant. So its genuine. they Serve HEESE BURGER!! cow heese from the looks of it...

Zero Performed at the Resurrection Show at Alimas Carnival. They opened with a new song :D
sad I dont know which song it is.

HULHUMALE' ANNUAL DAY [16th May] ZERO DEGREE ATOLL is going to perform fully featured through out the night. no other band. with a LASER LIGHT SHOW!!!
SO EVERYONE BE THERE!!

You really dont see this everyday.
Its the BAT FOAH!! cant you see the batman insignia outlining the center hole. ITS IN THE SHAPE OF THE BATMAN LOGO!!! What?? god might have decided to put a batman logo instead of the name for a change.

Bumper car night at Skippy's. Great stress reliever (it is ironic yes.)

Ah my Boring Life till now...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

If Things Were Opposite...

  • Wataniya. Lifes crap, Keep it to yourself.
  • C-False Opticals, a Circus mirror making company
  • Johnson and Johnson "Lot More Tears" formula.
  • Maldives the Sunny Side of Life (yes, that IS the opposite)
  • Maimeehaa ah emme rangalhee kuda dharifulhuge kiru???!!!
  • Hitler was a Peruvian midwife named Hitlera.
  • No Internet porn
  • Sergey Brin and Larry page open a peepshow in their basement called "Google"
  • Macrohard is a penal enhancement surgery innovated by Dr.Bill Gates
  • Gmail is Avasmail.
  • Maldivian Movies, A.K.A. Mollywood (seriously they use that) would be making world wide blockbusters.
  • Seezan, Seaxan.. wateva, would be Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Anni would be the President of United States.
  • Youppe' would be Mono and Mono would be Youppe' (kekeke.. inside joke)
  • Jumanji would have more hair on his head and less on his body.
  • Hunger, poverty and war would still be as it is.
  • Gang fights would be resolved with Street dancing. (in that case would be illegal)
  • All girls are virgins and will claim that they are sluts.
  • Hideously Fat chicks would be Hot!
  • Ichiban!! Lipstick for men.
  • You would have to read this blog from another dimension.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Petition

So I was reading through Iya's latest post "Be an asshole.. Be happy" and its about girls falling for dead beat jerks while the nice guys are there to pick up the scraps. (which is true! theres a reason why a website called "crazymaldivians" was made)
As you read along to the bottom to see the comments you find one pent up character "rundin thalhaa". He is such an enthusiastic character that I decided (out of my own kind will mind you) to start a petition to get "HOT GIRLS" to like him. So please fell free to sign up the petition (by commenting i guess...) and if we get 10 individuals to sign the petition... I dont know. Lets see what will happen from there shall we.

oh and the gay petition. sign up for that too by commenting :P

Sunday, March 23, 2008

How to Make a Time Machine.

  • Connect toaster to TV through a series of 5 megavolt capacitors.
  • The AV cable should have a Frank Turbulator attached between a BOF Filament bulb with a laboratory rat inside. (the lab rat should be white, otherwise the Bio-Organic Filtration filament wont work with any other color)
  • Turn on the stove and set it on Medium, Put a sauce pan on the stove and heat a layer of olive oil and fry some sausages while you wait for the BOF Filament bulb to emit a spectrum of light.
  • Once the BOF Filament emits the spectrum, quickly release the hamsters so that they would start running the 250 play wheels. (note: For every 5 hamster 3 will run the wheel) Wheel should be connected to the Toaster so that it runs on Hamster power. (note: Hamster power is more precise than voltage system)
  • Open the fridge and pour a glass of milk and consume it. (cookies are an option)
  • Once the toaster is hot and ready put a piece of bread and wait for it to toast (on heat medium, you may listen to a song while you wait)
  • When the toast is done (a ding sound you will hear) the time machine is ready. Just eat the toast and turn on the TV and flip channels till your desired destination shows up and just walk through the screen :D
P.S. This is a one way travel option. Most of the required materials are either made up or haven't been invented yet. And if you really want to to travel time buy a clock and carry it around with you on long journeys.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

*Sob*

Maybe its a celebrity stunt. You know like "What better way to promote this movie than to kill one of the actors in real life." So after you sign the contract and you play the damn best role of a villain that the silver screens can ever produce in a millennium of acting classes, but you forgot to read the fine print which says you got to die as a celebrity stunt to embed this movie in time as a legend for centuries to come.

This is my little way of grieving over the death of Heath Ledger. A legend man.. a damn legend...