Thursday, March 22, 2007

Creative Swearing

Anybody can swear. little boys n girls, big boys and girls, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the nerds, even talking parrots. (damn izekeel the budgerigar) But it seems the rationality of a good swear is too common now a days. As I said before.. anybody can swear. So how can we stand out?

Coming out
Remember the first swear word you said out loud? the swell up of either anger or excitement. adrenalin rushing, making your palms sweat. wondering if you'd get in to trouble. (You didnt? Well u must be sum sort of mamma's boy/girl, aint ya?)
We have been swearing since then the same way we felt comfortable. (Is there anything comfortable about swearing?) fuck, tits, cunt, pussy, dick all so.. mediocre. But when you think about it its what you say what really matters.

"FUCK YOU!!"
Usually u say this out of anger. But lets see what happens when you say this with the same hatred!
"IM GOING TO FUCK YOU!!"
Now its Stingy. Its bold. Its not everyday you hear that. Its makes the subject confused and re-think his actions.
"is he gay?, is he not saying it right? is he so mad at me that hes going to ass rape me?"
Lets face it, NO straight man wants to be assraped by another angry dude. Then without knowing how to react to this he would probably say
"WHAT????"
then you reply..
"You heared me im going to pin you to the floor infront of everyone and fuck you in the ass and make you scream that you are my bitch!!"
(You DON'T have to anally violate the man, but it gets the crowd laughing with you and at him plus making him bit scared that you might actually do it)

Basic 101
BOO!swear
You know theres things you don't like about what people do and you end up booing or hissing at them. Don't boo or hiss!! be more specific...
eg : "what are you doing?? (shocked angry face) I HATE THAT!!! I'M MELTING!!! I hope you die in a pit of flesh eating opera singing spiders just because you did that"
HEY!swear
This is a common one. It sort of come as a greeting to demean each other. Without saying good morning you say "Mornin' Assface!". Or call out to someone to get their attention "Hey Dipshit!!". To be creative you have to think beyond normal expectations but keep it short.
  • Think of a disgusting animal or insect or thing. (eg, baboon, maggot, vomit)
  • Visualise what his face mostly resemble (eg, gay tellitubby, violated chicken)
  • Disgustin bodypart (eg, sweatypits, pus-filled bellybutton, hairy nipples)
  • Combo blows, combining two or more of the above with each other or with description (eg, evil spawn, nipple leech, baboon ass face, shit covered beetle stuck in a pile of continuous vomit!!)
HOPE!swear
This is the most creative form of swearing. It gives you a broad horizon of pure evil and humiliation of any sort to design and hand it over in a neat platter of "in your face". Basically its hoping and wishing bad things upon people (Nooo, not wishing it and praying it to yourself, say it to their faces)
The idea behind is you hope for something, eg, "I hope you die!" but instead of keeping it simple you add horrible torturing 'outoftheblue' ideas, let it flow, show them how you truly feel. The end result would be something like this..
eg, "I hope an angry swarm of bees fly up your anus and make a hive and sting you inside till you blow up like a balloon and burst and die!" (Don't hold back on the type of words to use)
eg, "I hope a sexually depraved mouth foaming mad goat comes and rapes you in front of three gay masturbating gorillas!" (Specifying numbers makes the victim think. Throwing them off course makes it difficult for them to make a comeback)
Same attributes can be used with "Im gonna kill you with.." and "I wish you would...".

BOLD!swear
Like stated above, its putting yourself in a vulnerable position to humiliate someone else.
eg, "If you dont back off i swear I'll give you a french kiss and finger your ass!!"
GIRLSNAME!swear
Calling someone by a girls name. (make it a horrid name that you would never call your daughter) This is vice versa with gender, call guys, girls names and girls, guys names.
eg, Girlsnames - belinda, agatha, ainthu, shaima, huneyana, vagina, zineyna, pussy, zubeydha, saleema, findhufureyni, fathun, tampon, cue tip, julie, samantha, etc...
eg, Guysnames - jonnie, jack, mode, hussen, ayya, niyaz, slagathor, godzilla, penis, dick, husham, hurriya, foakey, oppo, boobman, etc....

So that covers most of the basic creative swearing. hope u enjoyed, please practice in protected areas where you know you wont get in to any sort of trouble.

p.s. im not responsible for any of your behavior after reading this.
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